Apologies for the dramatic title, but these Jessica Fletcher gifs are not going to appreciate themselves okay?
But I meant what I wrote – murder me.
Who you think you are – let that who die, pass away, leave you behind.
And by that, I mean: get out of your way, get out of your head, get out of bed, get out of your funk, go outside, get beyond your expectations for today, and just get on with it.
So, are you confused yet?
Wondering what am I talking about?
Doubtful that I even have a point here?
Suspicious that I might be stalling, trying to improvise an answer to my own rhetorical questions?
Am I just trying to create filler to fit in more Murder, She Wrote gifs?
Let me clarify with another JF classic (okay, it may have been partly that last one).
But seriously now – across so many spiritual practices and psychological disciplines, there is a fairly consistent agreement about the notion of layered identities.
Where disagreement arises over layered identity tends to be around what causes this layering in the first place, or what antidote there is to fix it (if it even needs fixing), or just how relevant it is for influencing our lives, subconsciously or not.
I’m keeping these posts brief – which is difficult for me, as a writer who enjoys writing and writing – so let us just keep our attention on acknowledging the existence of layered identities, and nothing past that.
So, there is an external You, the one who shows up to work and the one you create as a profile on social media, and generally the one who you identify with your “reputation”. This You is different from the more private, intimate you, who takes a while to get to know in a relationship, who has secrets, lies, dreams, fears and more – basically, this is the version of yourself that is hidden deeper inside your identity, only coming out when feeling comfortable and safe, especially so among us introverted shy-inclined people.
There might be some legitimately good reasons for why we create an external You – like maybe as a shell to protect us in this big world that can so easily squash us if we are not careful about it. And that’s fine – don’t stress out over the why’s here.
Instead, join me in realizing just how important it is to not only acknowledge that this You (who has that job title, that diploma, that marriage, that car, that popular instagram picture or that well-liked facebook post) is NOT really you any more than an actor is a role they are playing, but also to accept just how much we need to keep escaping this old, inauthentic version of ourselves.
So murder that phoney You.
Or for the less violent metaphor, think of it like the organisms that moult and shed old layers of skin and fur to reveal a newer and fresher layer.
And like this naturally re-occurring process among some animals, do their newly exposed layer stay around forever? Well, of course not, because why would it? It gets eventually replaced too, and why would it not naturally expire, making room for the next?
And so why do you continue to cling to that version of You?
That version saying,
- “No, I’m not the type who goes rock-climbing, or who reads…”
- “I have always been the careful, reliable one or the one who messes things up and needs to be bailed out of a jam…”
- “Yes, I have always put my job before myself, or never been able to apply myself…”
- “I have always been known as the smart one, or the pretty one, or the rich one, or the funny one, or the unlucky one, or the …”
Why hide behind that version of yourself along with you any more than keep watching children cartoons (Sailor Moon and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) because you did that when you were 6 years old?
If you want to escape your past of bad habits and unfulfilled legacies, or maybe just feel trapped by the expectations of who You should be today and tomorrow, then do it now.
Get out. Get out of your head. Get out of the way. Get to it.
YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE AT THIS MOMENT.
No one is ever going to give you permission to change and you will never need it anyway.
I am never implying this transformation, of creating a more authentic and vulnerable self, better matching the “you” with the You, is easy – but fuck is it ever worth it.
Leave that old shell of Yourself in your past and never look back.
Become who you need to be today without an apology or explanation.
Those of us who are doing it too will not need any justification from you, and those people who do expect answers probably won’t understand your meaning anyway.
Just like this rambling here – some people are going to be confused as hell about what I am going on about, got bored and clicked away to search online if Angela Lansbury is still alive.
But you know what this is all about, that it’s the sign you needed today to ditch the dead-weight holding you back from becoming who you need to be, who we are waiting for.
So again – murder me.
Recognize yourself that you once were is only that – a memory and nothing more.
Get out of your way, get out of your head, get out of bed, get out of your funk, go outside, get beyond your expectations for today, and just get on with it.
That’s it, that’s all.
Okay, okay, one more Murder She Wrote Gif, and one 3 minute Youtube video from the show Six Feet Under, where an art teacher is getting at what I was here, though with different analogies (an inside vs outside you) and with an artistic focus in mind (create what scares “you”, or else why bother?).
Enjoy and thanks for reading!